DOG-SHAMING AND CRACKING UP

Hopped out of bed one morning this week and stepped on the prickly bits of a chewed up St. Nicholas, who had apparently fallen from the Christmas tree in the night, and been rescued by Scout. Poor old guy is now a double amputee and his French horn is just a plastic stub. Not that he could play it anyway. He'd need arms for that.

You all know I take lots of photos of this pair, but it's not always as easy as it looks, especially when we are outdoors with props. They get rambunctious, the wind is blowing, and so on. I use treats. In this case I thawed some of the turkey leftovers from Thanksgiving. They were over excited by this, and not to be indelicate, but male dogs can be a little too obviously over excited, if you know what I mean. "Put that thing away" is not a command they teach in obedience school. Unfortunately. I'm going to try and tell this carefully, using words that will hopefully not attract pervy Googlers. Anyhow, downloading my pics, I can see that Nigel is a little excited in the ones I want to use. No problem. I'll use my red-eye corrector. Brilliant, right? Except, that it made "that area" look larger and darker, like he is sporting a pig-in-the-blanket under there. Hmmmm. I'll just airbrush it. Haven't really used that feature on my photo-editing software, but how hard can it be? Too difficult for me, apparently, because when I was finished, the area in question had a glowing red light on the end, like Rudolph. Only lower. Well, now I'm laughing so hard I'm wheezing, but determined not to be beaten. I'll use the paintbrush feature to cover that area in white to match the fur. It looked exactly like he was wearing a condom. I am not even kidding! And now I've gone and said condom. Twice. Who knows what kind of traffic that will bring.  

Hope you found a way to crack yourself up today. I've gotta run. There are gifts to wrap, and date balls and toffee to make, and mud. So much mud. Snow on Monday, and nearly 70 degrees today. That's the recipe for mud. XO.